NOLS: June 16 - July 18, 2013

Here is a quick summary of my NOLS experience, transcribed from my dirty, rugged pink journal. 

NOLS Day 0

"THE ADVENTURE IS HERE! I am at the Nobel Hotel. So Cool. Took a 40 minute shower tonight, talked to mom too… She cried and the last thing she said was 'Remember to say your prayers.'"

First Entry in the Backcountry

"Dear Mom,

I have never been this homesick in my life….Said a prayer for strength, like you said to do right before you hung up the phone."

Day 5

"Its hard being the minority, its rough for sure. I need to remember to keep praying."

Letter to Josh

"I miss you. If you were here, this would be so much easier. I regret being such a jerk to you sometimes…I better go before I make myself too depressed."

First Alpine Campsite

"My camelback broke. As did my gators. I sliced my fingers. But I love the outdoors. I love being out here, regardless of the struggle and homesickness."

6/27/13

"Knifepoint Glacier. Just returned from a trek up and back down a mountain pass, all hooked up to our glacial rigs. Sang "A Childs Prayer" as times got difficult. 10 days in, 20 to go."

The 7 Leadership Skills

Expedition Behavior

Competence

Communication

Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

Judgment and Decision Making

Self Awareness

Vision and Action

Day 11

"I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. 7 days to reration and the next 9 days will hopefully be full of climbing…..50 cent sized blisters….always trying to improve…..only 3 pairs of socks…..paying tuition….minor chest pains and breathing…. my helmet broke….. running our of paper…..love you."

July 2nd, 2013

"3 am wake up. dark. moist. condensation? Pull my gear on ready to go. 4:15 am. Im staying. alone. I need a rest day. 5 am. I watch the sunrise for juanita."

July 4th.

Independence Day!!! I have begun reading the book of mormon. I felt the inspiration of the spirit in this decision. Learning how to plan an expedition. 

July 9th 2013.

"Origin is half mile west of point 104.65 and half mile NE of 9980 UTM 12T E0615963 N4789003…."

Read the Prayer for the Traveler - Ed Abby. 

Overall Trip So Far - July 11th.

So its been something like 23 days. I haven't used toilet paper this whole time. I have grown closer to heavenly father. I have changed. I haven't seen my reflection or picture this entire time. NOLS has been incredible. I cannot wait to return and apply all that I've learned. 

Women in Combat *January of 2013*

**January 2013**

I couldn't post this on Facebook, for fear of personal attacks against my ideas.

Unfortunately, the Secretary of Defense has lifted the ban on women serving in direct combatant roles in the U.S. Military.

Where have our values gone? Why are we putting mothers on the front line? Since the beginning of time, it has been the males duty to protect the female. To keep her and her children out of harms way and to provide for them. Now we throw that value at the dirt and place women right next to men on the front lines of combat.

I believe that women and men are equal but have completely different roles. A woman should not try to do everything a man can, just as a man shouldn't do everything women do. We need to respect and compromise with our counterparts and form strong families.

I believe that the protective nature of men are engrained in our very being. If men on the front lines of our wars have to add the stress of having female comrades, their emotions will get the better of them, and in times of high stakes, that protective nature could end up killing entire squads.

A woman gets shot, the man behind her stops to help her and they are all killed. I am not saying this wouldn't happen if the woman were instead a man but the emotions involved would be much different.

Thats not a risk I would be willing to take.

God made man and woman different. And for good reason. No one would ever expect a male to give birth. Why would we expect women to engage in high risk special operations? Especially considering the enemy: Terrorists who will torture and rape women for the sake of torturing and raping. :(

Women are not and never will be as strong as men. That is a simple fact that cannot be disputed. Look at our bodies. We are completely different in size, stature and body composition. If a 200 pound Pararescuman with 150 pounds of gear on his back was shot and injured and the only person he had to drag him 2 miles out of harms way was a 150 pound woman, how would they fare? Im afraid the outcome looks grim.

These are simply the thoughts scrolling through my mind. Take them as you will. But I disagree with the secretary of defenses decision.

Conservative Hippie™

This all spawned from a conversation months ago with my best friend.

We were discussing how conservative we are but how, at the same time, we value the very things many liberals do; equality, wildlife and nature, yoga, rock climbing and hippie music.

The thought of being a Conservative Hippie™dug at me. I really am one, aren't I??

1. I believe in the free market, in limited government and isolationism.

2. I dont believe that we should kiss butt to get to the top of a company. In fact, I don't aspire to work as a small fish in a big pond.

3. I love the military and believe all countries need them.

4. I dont think abortion is right but, I don't think it is the governments jobs to make laws regarding such personal choices,

5. I think marijuana should be legal. I think that as we pile more and more laws on top of each other, we allow america to become a police state and set ourselves up for destruction.

6. I believe that people should stop to help others in need. Why do we expect the government to pay them money when we could do it ourselves.

7. Federal taxes are ridiculous. All such taxes should be abolished.

8. The 17th amendment needs to be erased from the constitution. Why? Because it gives unnecessary power to the people and takes that power away from elected officials of our state. Senators are the representatives of the states; not the people.

9. Education is tasked as a matter of local and state jurisdiction and rightly so. Why is the federal government messing with it?

So politically, I generally side with the Ron Pauls of the world. I'm a conservative. Im even more than that. Im a constitutionalist.

Now lets talk about my morals. I think Americans are (were) too "religious" and not spiritual enough. (**Americans could be more religious in modern times) We aren't spiritual enough. Plain and simple. I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I agree with every aspect of my religion and believe that it is led and directed by God through a modern prophet just like those of biblical times.

Heres what I mean by "not spiritual enough" is that we don't take time to receive personal enlightenment. Too often to we say the same prayer over and over, go to church with our eyes glazed over and spend the week distracted by worldly things.

I think we would do well to add a little meditation, daily pondering, and natural cleansing to our religious ammunition.

This might be a more hippie side of me, as compared to the average, christian american.

So combine my conservative and hippie sides and… I am a Conservative Hippie™

Book coming soon. ;)

My Religion

My Religion.

Religion. 

"State of life bound by monastic vows."

From religionem: "Respect for what is sacred."

Derived from either relegate (go through again and again. from re "again" + legere "read") or religare "to bind fast"

Is this what modern religion is? A state of life? To bind fast to something? To go through the ups and downs again and again? 

A state of life. Wow. That stood out to me. Do any of us make our religion a state of life? I would guess that very very few people make faith and spirituality their way of life.

In fact, if I asked random Americans on the street what their definition of religion was, they would probably draw it back to churches. Sunday worship.

So what changed since 1000 BC when the definition of religion was a "state of life bound by monastic vows?" 

I have no clue. Comments people?

Let me go through my process of thinking. First, did only monks make monastic vows? If so... does that go to say that average farmers and workers weren't religious? If so... Has anything changed? Are the only religious people the monks, the priests, the pope, the prophets, the religious teachers who live attached to their religion at all times and in all places? 

So maybe people are incapable of being religious? Well crud. 

I don't like that idea. At all. So lets look at the roots of that definition. 

My definition of a classic is something we can return to over and over and learn something new each time. Using this definition, the bible is a classic.

If The Bible is the modern classic of christianity (a major western religion), then treating it as sacred… would determine that we are being religious.

Very good.

This definition is a reminder to me to make my christian religion a state of life. 

Talking with Dad

My dad is awesome. Tall. Strong. Hardworking. Tough. Patriotic. Efficient.

He would never ask someone to do something that he wouldn't do himself. He is an exceptional military officer. He won the Officer of the Year award in Alaska. That's a big deal.

He was the first person to hold me. Feed me. Love me. He named me. I think we have a special bond. I like to think we are a lot alike. Only he is much better than I am.

He used to call me into his room when mom was gone and ask me my opinions on things. Big things. Life changing ones. Not often. But a few times. It made me feel important.

Yesterday he called and told me something he hadn't told mom. He asked what I thought. I told him. We hung up.

Yesterday at dinner I got into a discussion about the military with him.

If you read this blog, you probably know that my great grandfather, grandfather and father all served in the Alaska Air National Guard. It like a secondary wing of the Air Force. My paternal grandfather was a helicopter pilot in the Army during Vietnam.

Naturally, growing up, I wanted to be just like dad. Except a Captain. Because dad was a lieutenant. I remember when I was 6 or 7 we were at the store. I saw an odd, but very awesome looking action figure.

"Who is that dad?"

"Thats Captain America."

"Who's Captain America?"

"He's my favorite superhero. The best there is."

From then on out, you can probably guess who my favorite superhero was. Captain America.

I knew I *wanted* to be in the Military as a kid. I didn't know I *needed* to be until I was about 14.

But now I do. And in fact, Captain America inspired the GI Generation, just as he inspires the Millennial Generation in modern times.

But my dad inspires me more than Captain America. He is the man I hope to become. He is the husband, the father, the military officer, the leader, learner, the worker and friend I want to be.

Neuroscience **September 2013**

• Lately I've been watching videos of brain surgeries. I love it. SO fascinating.

  I feel the call to succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.

  I have wanted to serve in the Alaska Air National Guard as a Pararescue Specialist. As a Pararescue specialist, I would parachute, scuba dive, rock climb, snow machine, hike and fly into hostile territory to get to a wounded Airman who needed my help.

  This is still an incredibly passionate subject of mine. One of those aspirations you can't give up over a month or two.

  But as I come to understand some things about the life of a pararescueman, and think more intently about my future family, I realize that maybe going to school, and becoming a medical doctor, specifically a surgeon and more specifically, a neurosurgeon, I realize I might be on to something.

  I'd go to BYU (Unless I get married quickly. Then the options for a university are better.) and get an undergrad. Ive always been interested in either studying Neuroscience or a Humanity in college. Ive lucked out. Neuroscience would give me all of the science I'd need to get into medical school.

  I would get into Harvard Medical. Which means I'd need to get a 4.0 in college. And do some serious extracurriculars.

  I'd graduate from medical school at 28. Do an internship for a year and then spend the next 7 years in residency learning everything I'd need to.

  And what better career than to help people, perform incredibly precise surgeries, be a leader on the stage of neurology and neurosurgery. It would be challenging, demanding and I'd be able to provide well for my family.

  Neurosurgeons are also in high demand right now and many people sponsor them through school.

  I might also be able to do it through the Air Force for a few years and they would pay for everything. I'd have the pride of being an Officer, serving my country, get the benefits of a military career and be able to get advanced training as well.

  Ive looked at residencies around the country. The largest medical center in the world is located in Houston, Texas. Texas is one of my favorite states. Theres also an incredible residency program in Seattle Ive looked into.

  Why Neurosurgery? Its helping people in the broadest scope. It requires complete attention to the smallest details. It is rapidly changing and evolving which requires constant learning and growth. You perform surgery, so I'd get to operate a lot. Its a small, super specialized career field, which would allow me to stand out. It requires perfection, which…I'm fairly adapt at providing. It requires seeing a problem, making a quick, educated decision and then sticking with that decision. I'd be able to help those who cannot help themselves. Who literally have no more options. I'd be helping the "weak, who's hands hang low and who's knees are weak."

The Real Weapon - My Motivation for Pararescue.

The pararescueman is the real weapon. Strip him naked and drop him from a helo into the icy ocean-- he'll find a way to complete the rescue mission. He embraces the suck. He realizes that he is the last option -- that everyone else has been called and refused the mission or has died trying. He is required to know everything for a reason, because when SHTF and everything is FUBAR, he has to perform his mission and save that persons life, even if it means he will lose his own. His entire life revolves around his career and his career revolves around the mission of saving lives.

I am going to become a pararescueman and I will save your life, no matter what the cost. The feeling in my gut has confirmed it and my determination will ensure that I do indeed become a PJ.

This motivation is for me. I hope to be reading this in 2016 when I am preparing to enter the pipeline. This is not for the general reader of this blog. Its not for me to spread to the world. PJs are silent professionals and though my pride might urge me to spread the proud message of pararescue to the world, my maturity and understanding will keep me from doing so.

When the training gets tough, when both my legs cramp up on an evaluation and I wanna scream profanity to the instructors, I cannot. I must not let their determination to find the quitters touch my resolve and core motivation. I am at indoc because that is where I will be. I don't have to be a superhuman. I don't have to be smart. I don't really have to be "prepared."

I just have to be able to DO IT.

And you eat an elephant one bite at a time. Life is an elephant. Im getting started now. Indoc will be an elephant. Just one meal at a time. One day at a time. The pipeline is an elephant and ill need to take it one small evolution at a time.

My mother cries when I discuss leaving home. Her crying makes me tear up. I realize Ill never go home. This is it. This is all I have with her and dad. and Josh and Sam and Betsy. I hope we all stick together as a sibling group. But after this, its me and *my* family.

But honestly. The motivation for fitness on my mission is pararescue. When I return home, Ill have 3 months to get into running and swimming condition. Ill have to be working our 4-7 hours a day.

What keeps us from achieving our dreams is fear, laziness, or the inability to succeed when faced with a challenge that requires preparation. I must not have this fear or laziness when it comes to my dream of pararescue.

Being a PJ is a noble profession that will prepare me for the coming times of hardship in the fourth turning. It will allow me to use my gift of healing with those who volunteer to give their life for what america means and what it has meant in times past.

It is my calling and I will obey.