It burns. It feels like its crushing all of your organs. Your heart is almost cramping and your lungs feel like they are being scraped from the inside. You keep going. Your brain starts pounding, your vision is blurred and then your arms cramp. You keep going. Your entire body is shaking, your vision turns from a hazy white to black, your body goes limp and you sink.

Not thirty seconds later, your face is being slapped as instructors revive you. You wake up and spew water.

"I'm good cadre! Im good sir. Let me back in."

"No Earle. You stand your --- up and come with me."

You stand, trying not to show the pain and fatigue. 

You have gone 20 hours without sleep. Each night's sleep is about 3 hours long. Your body doesn't know whats going on but your mind is fully aware. And because your mind controls your body, you keep pushing.

The cadre takes some basic medical measurements and clears you to get back into the black, hellish pool. 

You jump in feet first and are swallowed by thousands of gallons of water.

"Ropes! Now!"

You stuff two footlong pieces of rope into your speedo and begin treading water, praying your hamstrings don't cramp up. 

After the whistle blows, you dive twelve feet under and retrieve your booties, mask, and weight belt. You stay calm as you attach each item to your bruised body. You blow small bubbles, pushing off the desire to release all of your air and jump to the surface. 

You pull out the rope and begin to tie your knots to the bottom of the pool. Your lungs and heart are screaming at you to return to the surface.

Finally, the knots finished you can return to the surface. You do so as quickly as possible. Sadly, one of your friends is shivering along the pool deck to grab the air horn.

*Blast Blast Blast* -- I quit! I quit! I quit!

You are shaken. Your mind starts to think of how nice it would be to quit and promptly return home to your wife and child. You shake your head, close your eyes and focus on breathing. Visions of dragging a bloodied american pilot to safety start to play against your closed eyelids.

"I know why I'm here. I will succeed."

Lets just fast forward to May 6th please...

I have 30 pages left of Chris Kyles book.

I am a 1/4 of the way into a library book: The Right Stuff

I started Tribes by Seth Godin

I am 2 chapters into (the amazing) Brene Browns' Daring Greatly.

I am halfway done with My Everest Story.

I am failing Astronomy. FAILING. I doubt I'll pull out anything better than a C. Which might compromise my scholarship at SVU. To which I was accepted and given a 9,000 per year scholarship.

Coach thinks he can get me ready to swim for UT if I train this summer. I would love that more than most things. Except Elevation, Yosemite and NOLS.

I sometimes feel like a failure as a Leadership Coach. Luckily today isn't one of those days. Tomorrow might be.

I am determined to have visible abs by Elevation. Not that anyone will see them. But I need a deadline. 5 weeks seems good enough. I haven't had any "bad" carbs today. Except for a small orange jelly bean.

I want so badly to talk to girls as if they are my wives. Ask them their opinions on things. Ask them if they agree with life decisions I am making *right now* that will probably affect the rest of my life.

I don't have seminary tomorrow. I need to read the BoM cover to cover in a short amount of time. Like a novel. If I read 17 pages a day, i'll be done in 30 days.

Have I mentioned I want a wife, abs and to be training for Pararescue? Ill even back up a little and beg to be on a mission. Please??

Nope. I still have braces and hear I sit in my bed with the sheets askew and junk all over the floor. I am the opposite of authentic and daring right now. I am avoiding the fact that I have a 5% in Astronomy right now. With 4 weeks left on the clock.

And tomorrow I am going to be in a tv commercial all day. Yet another way to distract myself from the pain.

Lets just fast forward to May 6th please….

Pararescue

In the United States Air Force, there exists a group of about 300 men. Extraordinary men.

Some people call them supermen. Others call them heroes. Unofficially, the Air Force refers to them as Guardian Angels.

These men call themselves PJs.

It does not, in fact, stand for Pajamas. Nope. It stands for Pararescuemen; an updated name for the antiquated "Para Jumper" or PJ.

They are noble men. Many hear of the heroics of the Navy SEALs who engage in covert operations in sea, air or land. Some know of the Delta Force and the Green Berets, men who are the very best at being the very best. We all know the stories of raids and quick special forces attacks.

Yet very few people know of Pararescueman. And the PJs like it that way. They are a quiet bunch. Never seeking fame or glory. Definitely not seeking fortune. (Most barely scrape by with the infamous military pay that leaves some soldiers below the "poverty line") 

You see... PJs are special soldiers. They don't attack. At least, thats not their primary objective. They have one mission and one mission only. To save lives and aid the injured. They will do whatever it takes to accomplish that mission. Whether it be to climb to the top of Denali in Alaska or to trek for days searching for one missing soul, they will do it.

Pararescumen train for over two years, working a little harder, digging a little deeper than all the others in the armed forces. They have to be better. They have to be stronger. Because when Navy SEALs or Green Berets need help, they call for the PJ's. 

PJs are the most highly decorated Air Force enlisted force. They've been awarded one Medal of Honor, twelve Air Force Crosses, and 105 Silver Stars. 

That valor doesn't come without cost. 

In just the 12 years since Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom, 10 pararescueman have paid the ultimate price and died "that others may live."

They know full well the risks. So do their families. But they have a sense of duty and purpose that drives them to serve their fellow men and save precious lives so that those men and women can return to their families. 

A song that was often heard when my father was deployed encapsulates what PJs, and all other military members, are.

I'm just trying to be a father,
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,
Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all business in my suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed up for success from my head down to my boots,
I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,
I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,
I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,
And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dying's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,
'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an American soldier, an American,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,
I'm out here on the front lines, so sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier

That song holds a special place in my heart. One that is reserved for America, Freedom, and its defenders. My father served 10 years in the Air Force and is currently serving in the U.S. Coast Guard. He stood ready to do his duty and to sacrifice everything for you and I, and for those who desire to have the same freedom that we do.

I believe that someday, I will become a pararescueman. I hope that I wont have to die for this country. But I will if it is asked of me. Because it will be my duty as a Pararescueman to save lives and to aid the injured. I will be prepared at all times to perform my assigned duties quickly and efficiently, placing these duties before personal desires and comforts. These things I will do, that others may live.

Hoo-Yah

Cause, Honor, Duty...

Right now, in the scriptures, my mom is reading about the Sons of Mosiah. I just read about the Stripling Warriors. We discussed the need for strong men in the day to come.

Every 80-100 or years, there is usually a resetting of society. One generation goes out, another comes in. War, death and suffering usually falls upon the society and the responsibility of rebuilding the society is thrust upon a choice generation. The "Hero Generation."

Think of the young men soldiers in WWII. Called to wage the worst war in history. To protect and defend freedom from the axis powers of evil. They were strong, good, raised well and eventually called to sacrifice for a war they didn't start. But they knew their duty and answered the call.

The strongest, best men and women are born into the hero generation. They must be the strongest and best because they are called to endure the most suffering of any other generation, usually for the sake of an entire country.

The world, and its inhabitants have become lazy, self centered and ignorant. Although I have seen countless "support our troops" bumper stickers, I grew up in a country that didn't acknowledge  that we were at war. The few times the media reported about it was to tell the public of devastating attacks committed by mentally ill Americans against innocent middle easterners and of secrets and lies hidden by politicians and generals.

We don't give our service members the thanks they deserve.

We don't consider it a great honor to serve. To give our lives. So many people join the military for the benefits. A nice home, cheap food to eat, free education, but when the time comes to stand up and serve, even die for our flag, we run away like cowards.

A girl I know was crying the other day. I asked why. She said because her friend in the Army had been deployed. He could die.

I didnt say it, but I wanted to ask, "Is there any better way to die? For your country. For freedom?" We will all die. Every last one of us. In my opinion, there is no better way to go out than with the flag on my shoulder doing what I know is right for the people I love.

If we watch the signs, we will see that countries are lining up, and a blow to America could come at any time. We may not have another world war. But we *will* be asked to sacrifice. We will be asked to protect our loved ones. The women and children.

I'll be asked to give up the ability to be with my family, the freedom to come home for holidays. I will be asked to save american lives and kill our enemies to protect freedom and stand for truth and right. The politics of the situation wont matter. The government will probably be in a state of crisis, unable to do much more than pay themselves more and more.

Gentlemen, Brothers...

Please, please, realize that there is a greater cause. An honor. A duty.

I am willing to stand up and accept it. Are you?

Just... Everything

Wow.

It really affects the way I write when I realize others will read this. If you don't want to know the weird interworkings of my mind, this post is probable best avoided. If, on the other hand, you like juicy knowledge of and about me... well then... Uh. Well... Best play it down a bit. Wouldn't wanna scare me know, would ya? ;)

Pretty much, I'm a man. I havent grown much in the past few years. I have a high school degree and I converse with adults fairly well. My parents have never, ever, evvvver been the kind to do things for me. From emails to phone calls to scheduling and the rest, they have always left it to me. Now that I have a license, lets just say, the only things my parents are good for is moral support, an awesome couple to mooch of of and they give me things cause... they're dang nice.

Thanks mom and dad. I love you. :D

Anywho. I am confident that right now, if you gave me keys and a bag and told me to pack up and start my life, I could. Yeah. It would suck. But yeah, I could do it. As long as I can get free signatures on stuff that needs a guardian. :P

So... needless to say, I have been if an odd mood. i.e. the usual.

I have been thinking of my future family, career, and life nonstop. I was given a religious blessing in December that became a compass for my life. I have based a lot of decisions on the said blessing and it is always at the back (or forefront) of my mind.

I was sitting tonight, staring at the eggshell wall, speckled by odd splashes of texture. My vision blurred as I focused in and out. And I just started thinking. Again. :P

Here is what I started thinking of:

I believe every american young man has an order in his mind.

It consists of four things.

God. Country. Family. Self.

Most teenage boys would probably order the four focuses as such:

1. Self.
2. Country.
3. Family.
4. God.

Think about it. What teenage boy doesn't want to be a rich, good looking, super soldier who has a hot wife and goes to church when he feels like it?

My priorities have been shifting. No longer am I a teenager (I'd argue that I never was) Now I am a man.

I have never been the most religious guy. I confess. I don't always say my prayers, read my scriptures, feel the spirit or even *want* to go to church. Sometimes I just don't put my Heavenly Father first. Am I proud? Nope. Is it the truth? Yup. But in a few months time, I will put everything aside and become a literal disciple of Christ. I will speak for Him and in His name.

My order will look something like this:

God.
Companion.
Self.

After my mission though... thats when *real* life sets in. It's where the past 20 years of my life will be flung into reality and tested in the worst ways.

I hope and pray I will find a wife strong enough to bear those tests with me. Adventurous enough to do things that might not be comfortable or easy. Loving enough to accept me and all my imperfections. And dreamer enough to sit and plan our life out with me.

And heres how I hope my order will look like then:

Family
God
Country
Self

The fact of the matter is, my family will need me. The other fact of the matter is, hundreds, maybe thousands of other people will need me. They say the life of the leader is a lonely one.

I will be lonely. My family will be lonely.

That makes me sad. It does. But it also makes me very very very happy. Why? Because it makes me realize that as a teenage kid, I have something that not many adults have. A sense of purpose.

I *know* that I am here for a reason. I survived my crazy birth not because of the skill of doctors but because my Father in Heaven wanted me here. I have a mission to fulfill. I am here for a reason.

Right now, I know a few things.

1. For me hard work isn't an issue. Humility is. Selfishness is. Perfectionism and the expectation of it is.

I see myself as better than people. I have been so very blessed that I often judge others for not being as ____ as I am. As smart, as handsome, as strong, as well traveled, as blessed, as clean, as well behaved, as motivated, as tall, as 'perfect' as I am.

2. I am a patriotic beast. Holy cow. I straighten up when I see a flag. I smile when I see a military member. I sing when I hear the anthem. I wanted so very badly to attend the Air Force Academy. I feel a desire, a need to serve my country and give back to America. I need to serve in the Military.

Not as a career. As a service. Part time. For a few years.

3. I need a family. I need a wife. I want children. I want to have "dingus days" where we all drop everything and spend the day together doing things we love. I want us to love each other with all of our hearts. I want to homeschool my children and build them to have a strong core, a broad level of education and a deep passion for learning. I want my wife and I to be best friends who constantly and consistently love each other. Who compromise. I want to serve her. I want her to be better than I am. I want my family to be a unit guided by my wife, myself and our Father in Heaven.

4. I will serve my church. I am not sure who is reading this or what your familiarity with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is, but I am a devoted member of the LDS Church. I will give whatever I am asked to give to my church because I know it is true and I know it is led by Heavenly Father.

So if you're reading this... I apologize. So many thoughts have been flowing in every direction and blocking my train of thought. Now that it is written in ink, I can let a little bit of it go.

Something Profound

I want to say something profound.

And I promise you its there.

It really is. But there is SO MUCH profound that it all mixes. Thank you Adam Hailstone for breaking those little divider walls in my mind and making everything connect.

Tonight was "Hang with the Headmaster." I bet your schools principle doesn't just sit and talk with you about how school is going. Mine does. And he also gives me epiphanies.

I kinda have to brag right now. About my awesome friend. My *best* friend. And I hope she doesn't mind.

Do you ever feel lucky for meeting someone?? Knowing that they mean absolutely so much to you and even though you aren't perfect, that person kinda makes up for it? Makes you remember the important things. Makes you want to be just a bit better. Okay. A lot better. :P Well I do.

My friend is that someone.

We skyped tonight.

*blog continued the next morning*

We skyped last night. It was hilarious. Her, her sister and her cousin were all sitting together and looked so much alike. Obviously they had their differences but *something* about those girls looks the same.

Her and I are similar in age. Her brother is the age that my stillborn sister Juanita would be. Her other brother is Josh's age. Then there is her younger sister and Sam. You guessed it. Same age. Oh. And wouldn't ya know, both our families had little blessings at the end. Boo and Pits.

Kinda cool if ya ask me.



So. This post is called something profound. I name my posts before I start them. Because it gives my mind something to focus on. And so... I suppose in a way our friends our profound. Because they are the reason we do the things we do.

We have families. Obviously. Families are (or should be) the strongest bonds we have. People that will *always* be there. Sometimes only because they have to be. ;) But seriously. The human race would be like... algae if it wasn't for family.

And then we have our friends. My mom has this saying. And Im not necessarily applying it to anything in this post. Just using it to make a point about friends.

She says "You marry your best friend." She uses it as a warning to pick our friends carefully.

But think about it. Thats profound. In a not so profound way. We don't marry our family. We don't even marry our "girlfriends or boyfriends." We marry the friend. The person you laugh with, talk with, cry with, want to be with.

Friends, therefore, mean a lot. And shouldn't be taken lightly.

I hope you have friends as good as my are. But... you probably don't. Cause mine are epic.

Anywho. I have class to teach. See ya. :)

The Small Things

I am the firstborn.

When I was born, my mother was in a comma. She was only 27 weeks along in her pregnancy.

She *knew* with a surety that she was going to give birth to a girl. Amber Elaine Earle. Well... mom had a seizure on new years day in 1996. She went into a comma. Hours of fear, anxiety, uncertainty and probably many tears later, I was delivered via C-Section and passed through a small hole in the OR wall to the NICU.

When the nurse told my dad that he had had a son, he was slightly shocked at the mistake. He told her she was wrong; his wife had had a daughter.... The nurse, alarmed at her mistake, returned to the NICU and came back. "No, Mr. Earle, you had a son."

Well... my parents didn't even have a boy outfit to bring me home in. But that wouldn't be a problem. I would spent the next three months of my life in a hospital room.

My mother remained in a comma for 3 days after my birth. We sure are glad she woke up. :)

Though the odds were against me the whole time, I made it. No complications. Today I am a 6'1, strong, healthy swimmer. No one would guess that I was a 2.5 pounder. Some (crazy) people eat burgers that weigh more than that. Just sayin.



They say that firstborns are always more adult-like than their siblings. Most obviously because they are raised by adults without any older siblings to emulate. I have always been that way. More adult like than most kids my age. Height didn't help. I was always the tallest in my classes.

I grew up fairly spoiled. My parents struggled with the idea that they might not be able to have more children and so my mom didn't hesitate to love on me. I don't regret it. I have always had a wonderful life and have never wanted for anything.

Though spoiled, I was raised right. I was raised strict.

My dad grew up with a strict father. He raised me, in some ways, the same as his father had raised him. Strict.

I had rules. If I broke them, I got spanked. And I learned my lessons.

My first memories are ones of change and some turmoil. They came about the same time that my father joined the military. I was about three and a half years old when my strongest memories begin. For the next three and a half years, my father spent almost all of his time and energy into becoming a pilot in the United States Air Force. He says they were the toughest years of his life. Not only was he trying desperately not to "wash out" of Pilot Training, he had two sons, (Josh was born just before we left to start training) a wife, and he had demanding callings in our church.  He loved what he did. He loved the patriotism that flowed through all of his Air Force classmates. The Star Spangled Banner that played in the mornings, Taps at night. The sound of jet engines soaring overhead. He had dreamed of it since he was 4 years old.

You can imagine that a young child being raised in such an environment would grow to adapt and adopt the principles he was exposed to. I did.

I had a little green flight suit that I wore. I made ID cards (laminated with packing tape.) that I showed the military police as we passed through the Air Force Base gates. I would salute the guards. Sometimes they saluted back. :) I begged my mom for "boots. like dads." After a while, I was given a pair or khaki boots from walmart. I loved those things.

I also learned to respect the flag and love our country. I was surrounded by men who were willingly putting themselves into harms way to defend freedom and serve their country.

I was emblazoned with those values.

So to this day I am strict. I believe in America. I stop and put my hand on my heart when I see a flag pass or hear the anthem. I also... have trouble explaining my actions to others. Many people don't see the small things. I do. I am definitely a perfectionist in many ways. But I crave and understand respect.

I would do very well in the military. Structure. Rules. Respect. Attention to detail. Striving for perfection.

I don't think my parents thought much about how I would turn out. Again. Something oldest children have in common. All of their firsts are firsts for the parents. I am lucky to have parents who never pushed me to grow up or hit certain expectations outside of the home.

Its taken me a very long time to realize that I am rare. Not many people follow rules to a T. Not many want to wear an American Flag on their shoulder. Not many study for countless hours about important events in history so that they can be sure never to repeat the tragedies we see every few decades. Not many have upmost respect for others.

But I do.

Its the small things that define people. The imperfections. I love the small things.

Do you?

blogging when I should be working...

Hey there! I should be grading students and making PowerPoint slides for my class tomorrow.

Instead I am blogging. I swam 4 hours today. And yesterday. (Cool Fact: Many Olympians only swim 4 hours a day for much of the year.)

I received a sweet little comment on my blog and a following mini conversation ensued. I love my friends.

A couple sundays ago, an awesome family in our ward came over for dinner. Their son was one of the first young men I met when we moved to Florida. And... well, we hated each other. Now, we consider ourselves best friends. He is one of the incredibly few males I get along with.

He is a public schooler. And on the outside, we both agree he seems like a player. I know where his heart really is but few others do. Anyway. He's really just your typical 16 year old guy. And Im totally fine with that. Sometimes pretty envious too. Though at the end of the day I am glad I live my life the way I do.

Well this friend of mine and I started talking. It was mostly me doing the talking. We discussed education, learning, children, the brain, public school, college and anything else that could fit between those subjects.

He looked at me and said something that made me proud. Though it wasn't intended to.

"Ya know... we all think you're a little weird."

Oh dude. I know. Trust me.

"Well... I *just* realized something as you were talking about low expectations. And it changes the way I think about you. You're not a teenager. You skipped the teenage years and are... well, an adult."

It made me smile. And be proud of the way I have decided to live my life. Ill admit it. I am a prideful guy. Its a weakness. I often think of myself as better than those below me. I believe that part of my purpose in life is to overcome that pride and love, guide, and accept those who are "lesser" than me.

But this simple line that my friend said stuck with me. I really am an adult. I left out the teenage mentality and life lonnng ago.

I was telling a mentor at Williamsburg Intermediate that I will go to SVU this fall (maybe) and then go on my Mission this spring when I turn 18. Her reaction was fun to watch. I guess it never dawned on her that I was 17. I had been 16 when I was brought on as a coach.

"Wow. This is quite the high school job!"

Yes. Yes it is. :) But I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes. I do have trouble with the administrative aspect of the job. (i.e I'm not good at grading. or Canvas. And its honestly not acceptable. *sigh*)

I mean... Lets think about it. My counterparts are making out with girls, driving fast, loving the sunshine life and only going to school because they have to.

I am still cooped up in my room nearly all day, studying, planning, working. And planning the way the rest of my life will play out.

This week is Spring Break in FL. And can I be a tad negative? Mkay.

I hate that people have been saying "Oh! You basically have spring break all year long!"

No. Actually. You have more of a "spring break life" than I do. But thanks for telling me what my life is like. *forces a smile*

Here is my daily to do list. I assume future Jacob will smile when he looks back on it.

Missionary Prep/BoM/Preach My Gospel/Mission Papers/Seminary

Williamsburg Intermediate/Astronomy/SVU Application/Reading

Swimming/Yoga/PT

Taxes/FAFSA/NOLS Fundraising/WilliamsburgI

Friends/Dates/Church/Mutual

Eagle Scout/Merit Badges

Summer Plans

Those appear on my daily list every day... Stress much? But I need it. I have to have it. Because these months are the last Ill have when my home and food are paid for and I have loving parents watching my back. After this summer, I am on my own. I think my mom tears up every once in a while when she sees how quickly it is all passing.

Also. Could you send me one single, cute, williamsburger or equivalent, adventurous girl in January of 2016? Id like to be married by Christmas. Haha. Blahhhh. Wife Hunting doesnt sound fun to me. At all. I just want the right one when I need her. :P

Thats all for tonight. I need to make slides for class.

Over and Out,

My Muse.

Life

I have been in Florida for 10 months.

I leave for my LDS mission in 9 months. If I ever get these braces out. Before the mission age change, they were slated to be out June or July of 2014. Which was going to be fine. Now its not.

My life is a wee bit crazy.

Between now and my Mission I have to finish my LAST CLASS AT WA! I am so flippen excited you don't even know. I hate having the baggage of a silly class in one the my least favorable subjects: Science. Although, the class is astronomy which is my favorite subject in the realm of science.

I need to finish my time as a Leadership Coach at Williamsburg Intermediate. Im going to be 100% honest cause this is *my* blog and nobody else reads it. I have a love/hate relationship with the job. It takes tons of time. concentration. and it doesn't pay well for the amount of time spent doing work. But I absolutely love the 4 hours of class time I have each week. If only that was all I had to do... :P Grading on the other hand? Oh dont get me started. And wow. Parents can be pushy!! But again. I do it for the kids.


After that, I leave to St. George. I plan to do some kind of adventuring there with Tim and maybe Julia and Tali. But planning is so not my strong suit. Remind me of that after my mission when I am looking for an eternal companion.

I will then work for two weeks as an Elevation Trail Guide. So. Excited. :)

*right* after that its off to a week of backpacking. So so so excited. James cant escape this time! Him and I havent had a decent conversation in a very long time. I'm hoping to steal him for a couple of hours during that week. Just to talk and discuss things very near my heart that I cant even discuss with my best friends. Or parents for that matter. This stuff is reserved for my mentor.

Ill return home for two weeks. Ill have been gone for a month. I am praying that those two weeks will be bliss. With movie nights and beach days included.

Because after two weeks Ill be flying to Wyoming for a month. To go on a NOLS Mountaineering course for 16 y/o and up. I'm excited. So excited. But not sure what to expect.

Ill be on a plane or maybe a train to Virginia near the end of August. College will begin.

Ill see my family for Thanksgiving and be home in time for Christmas. To open my mission call.

Sometime in early 2014, I will board a flight to an LDS Missionary Training Center somewhere in the world.

Two years later I will return home to... something I cannot predict. Probably a lot of change. A different world. A slightly altered family. Friends who had forgotten me except for a few small memories here and there. And I will proceed onward to make a life for myself.

Life.

Its unexpected. Crazy. Beautiful. Fun. Rewarding. Exceptionable. Its worth living.